Bolted Shut Car Door

Car Door 1
Car Door 2

I don't even know where to begin with this. The important things to know are that the car itself is an old, scary fucking death trap of a car, and I am the unfortunate person who has to drive it. The days are numbered, I have another car lined up that I pretty much just have to wait a couple more months for, but in the meantime I'm stuck in the shit wagon.

It's a 1987 (yep, you read that correctly) Pontiac 6000 LE. It was completely digital and computerized before digital and computerized where completely figured out in cars, so you can only begin to imagine the arguments the car has with itself. I'll be driving in the fast lane of the highway, doing 120 km/hr and it just dies. Engine totally stops.

One night at work in October 2012, my battery died, and I had my wfie and my supervisor at work both taking turns trying to jump start the 6000, to no avail. We were about 100 feet out of the parking lot where I work so we decided to just push it back there. My wife was parked right beside me on my driver's side, and when she pulled away in her car she didn't see my door still open, and it caught and hyperextended itself. The top hinge of the driver's door snapped off completely, leaving the door sort of hanging on by the bottom.

I'd been fighting with it ever since, having to slam it harder and harder to get it to close as time went on. Finally, just last week, the latching mechanism finally shit out and stopped grabbing the post on the car body - which was also bent, from the constant slamming of the door. At least it happened in my driveway when I got home from work on a friday, but still.. fuuuuuuuck!!!

I had to call my Dad to come help me out. I thought we could just spray the latch with some WD40 and negotiate the door with a pry bar, but that'd just be too easy. We had to bolt the fucker shut, and now I have to climb in from the passenger side. So fucking welly. I'm pretty sure it's really illegal too, I fucking hope I don't get pulled over!!!!

This will be the fourth car in a row that I've owned that's gone straight to the scrap yard when I've been finished with it. Every single fucking car I've ever had. I will say, for the record, as funny as it sounds, it's never been exclusively my fault, but those are (four) stories for a rainy day or two. The point is I keep getting stuck with these shitty fucking lemons, and it's super fucking embarassing. I took a couple of pictures of how shitty my door is now.

Just be glad you're not stuck driving a piece of shit car that wants to kill you like me, or this could happen to you. My car is such a stupid asshole.

 

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